…It’s sad that I can no longer tolerate specific people, even after having knowing them for years. When I see them, I clench my face and immediately want to piss off. I have a mixture of annoyance and disappointment — I can’t help but be sad that I can no longer stand people that I used to title as my good friends all because of the other people that now surround them.
Is it bad of me to hate someone who, to me, has changed so much in my eyes because of their own choices? Probably because they have also neglected me as well, making it extremely personal in my eyes.
It’s just one of those fucking things where you wish you can just let go of, but because of good and bad memories, the times you have spent with those people, experiencing life together, and just being there for each other…you just end up getting annoyed even more because…it’s not something you can just let go. It’s not — and reminding me that I just have to let it go only pushes me further to physical violence. How dare you sit there and tell me to just let go, you may function like that but I certainly can not. I choose to develop deep relationships with certain people to specifically avoid this kind of situations but this is what I get for having high expectations, and life just eventually screws me over once again.